The Question Every Parent Should Ask

As one season of motherhood comes to a close, I'm reflecting on the goal that has guided our family from the beginning.

I watched her take the stage—poised and confident—though I knew she was fighting butterflies inside.

She stood before the judges, ready to defend her senior thesis, the culmination of her high school years. And as I sat there, holding back tears, I couldn’t help but think of where it all began.

It felt like just yesterday, Lyric and I had gathered around the IKEA table we purchased while living in Oxford to begin our homeschooling journey. I was new to homeschooling, new to England, and still trying to get my youngest to sleep through the night.

Where do we begin?

Well, I can certainly teach her how to read, I thought.

So, we started there. Simple. But those small beginnings around that table were the first fruits of something much greater.

And now, here she stood on stage—eighteen years old—tackling the philosophical question of meaning. I could still see my little girl in her smile.

That evening, I was reminded of the verses the Lord gave me years ago for my children:

“Him we proclaim, warning everyone and teaching everyone with all wisdom, that we may present everyone mature in Christ. For this I toil, struggling with all His energy that He powerfully works within me.” ~Colossians 1:28-29

These words became my compass for parenting.

Colossians made my end game clear: present them mature in Christ.

Whether you are educating your children at home, sending them to school, mentoring children in church, or serving others in any way, I think these verses benefit us all.

The time we are investing in others’ lives is a small offering. We get to give back to God what He has so graciously given to us. These verses offer a blueprint of how to make the most of our time with them.

A Biblical Vision for Parenting

As parents, it’s easy to lose sight of the big picture.

Daily responsibilities press in. Urgent needs crowd out what’s essential. We can spend so much time managing behavior or checking boxes that we forget to ask:

What is the goal in parenting these treasures we have been entrusted with?

I love how this verse makes it so simple: focus on maturity in Christ.

This reframes everything.

Our goal is not performance. It’s not outward “good behavior.” Our goal is Christlikeness. There is no other measuring stick.

And yet, how often do we subtly replace that goal with our own?

We prioritize achievement over character. Push our children to be involved in activities they don’t necessarily love. Rush through lessons while heart issues go unaddressed. We miss moments of wonder in our hurry to stay on schedule.

But we are not trying to change our children. We are trying to cultivate them. God has already designed them with purpose. Our role is to nurture what He has placed within them, guiding them to maturity in Christ.

So, let’s ask ourselves honestly:

Am I pursuing Christlikeness in my children—or something else?

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I’m honored to be writing for Club31Women this week on Raising Children to Be Mature in Christ. You can finish reading this entire article on the link below:

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These past few weeks have been so full—my oldest graduated from high school and I have learned so much, feel like I have so much I want to share with you all. Expect more in the coming weeks, but until then, I want to leave you all with this one thought:

Whatever the Lord has called you to, He will equip you. His power works within us, sustaining us to do what we cannot do on our own. Our labor is not in vain. The same power that raised Christ from the grave—that is what we get to rely on. I don’t know about you, but that changes everything for me.

He is for you, dear one. And He will finish His work in each one of us until we are mature in Christ.

Further still,

~Chris xx