How To Cultivate a Life of Wonder in Your Child
Our first pixie entered this world in a blaze of glory. She fought from the moment she came out of my womb. As first-time parents, Tim and I were not prepared for the bundle of life before us. She weighed only 5 pounds 11 ounces, but was 22 inches long. What she lacked in weight, she made up for in spunk.
I remember the night we were finally given the go-ahead to leave the hospital. Small to begin with, Lyric continued to lose weight those first few days, as well as show evidence of jaundice, so my nerves were already on edge as we left the hospital to go at it alone as new parents.
We loaded her tiny frame into the carseat and began the forty minute drive home. As soon as we pulled out of the parking lot, screaming erupted from her little mouth. I am not referring to the soft cry of most newborns, rather a full blown power scream. For someone so tiny, Lyric sure could make a ruckus.
Is she ok? What are we doing wrong? Should we turn around and head back to the hospital?
We didn’t turn around. But we also didn’t sleep for the next twelve months.
From the day she was born, Lyric revealed her true self: strong, determined, and wide-eyed. She resisted sleep, refusing to take a nap. I read every book on sleep, tried every method, but nothing worked.
Lyric did not want to miss a thing.
To this day, this is the pixie we know and love. She is full of wonder. I often describe Lyric as wanting to suck all the marrow out of life. There is nothing too small or insignificant to inspire her. She embodies a life of wonder.
I never had to cultivate wonder in Lyric. The question became: How do I keep it?
Our children are born with an innate sense of wonder, but this world strips it away from them day after day.
How do we prevent the decay of wonder in our children? What can we do to foster a love of learning that breathes life into all that they do? Can we cultivate a spirit of joy in them as they learn to marvel at creation?
This is no small task for us as parents. But I believe it can, and should be done. Here are a few suggestions on how we might initiate cultivating a life of wonder in our children.
Recognize Our Children Cannot Live a Life of Wonder if We Refuse to Do So
I believe that the first step to cultivating a life of wonder in our children is to first be certain we have cultivated a life of wonder in our own lives. We know that our children are a mirror of our own selves. How many times have I watched my pixies interact with each other, mimicking tones, words, or phrases Tim and I use?
Our children imitate our behavior, and if we want them to marvel at the world, we need to marvel at it ourselves.
How can we marvel at the world?
Wonder is produced through worship. It begins here. C.S. Lewis puts it this way in Reflections on the Psalms:
“I think we delight to praise what we enjoy because the praise not merely expresses but completes the enjoyment; it is its appointed consummation.”
If I enjoy God, I will praise him. My worship is the consummation of my delight. If the God of this universe fails to inspire my soul, it will reflect in my words, actions, and practices. When I am in awe of Him, that awe is contagious and it passes onto my children.
What do we need to do as parents to re-inspire a life lived in the wonder of God? How can we breathe life into our dry bones?
These are questions that we need to take time to answer. One of the best ways I know how to recapture wonder is to read the Word of God. It is life-giving. When I look at Who He is, and read His words to me, wonder cannot help but ensue. If we take time every day to search the Scriptures, the wonder of Christ will cover us.
When Moses met with God on the mountain, his countenance changed. Our children will notice that wonder has affected our appearance when we have met with God face to face.
Limit Distractions
This is a hard one because we are constantly bombarded with distraction. There is so much to capture our attention in a day that it’s often hard to keep focused on the thing at hand. And, yet our children are watching us. When we are mindful of their observance of our behavior, it quickens our spirits to try to do things differently.
None of us want to take the easy way out. Yes, it is often easier to hand our children a screen then to take time out of our day to go exploring with them. But a mountain bike ride, reading a nature book together, or a hike through the woods, can blossom wonder like nothing else. We see the dividends in their glowing countenance when they get their eyes off of a device and look at the world around them.
Go Marveling
Look at the world around you. My husband, Tim, has a whole section on this in his new book The Beauty Chasers. He writes,
“A Methodist preacher by the name of Fred Craddock tells the story of how his ancestors used to take walks after church on Sundays. On the walks, they’d ‘admire nature and collect unusual things’ such as rocks or wildflowers. They called it ‘going marveling’. The intentional observance and gathering of natural things we pass over every day or take for granted strengthens our ability to see the world.”
Yesterday, when I was headed out for my walk I paused when I saw a lone rose casting its shadow across the back of our house. It was such a simple observance but the beauty of it made me gasp.
Send your children outside to collect unusual things. Take a camera with you on a nearby trail. Pause and look at the spiderweb outside your bedroom window. Marvel with them.
Let Your Children Explore Things That May Not Interest You But Interests Them
Patience is a virtue manifested especially in parenting. There have been times in schooling my girls that I’ve wanted to rush over something because it didn’t really interest me, yet it held their full attention. Being aware of what our children naturally attend to is paramount in cultivating wonder, even if it doesn’t interest us.
Learn The Value of A Fairy Tale
The beauty of a fairy tale is that it allows our children to imagine other worlds, other possibilities. They wonder at make-believe kingdoms, dream of daring rescues, and question other existences.
C.S. Lewis put it best in Of Other Worlds,
“[The fairy tale] stirs and troubles him (to his life-long enrichment) with the dim sense of something beyond his reach and, far from dulling or emptying the actual world, gives it a new dimension of depth.”
Surprise invokes wonder. Fairy tales stir little hearts on to the realm of possibilities. Grab a fairy tale and read it out loud to them.
There are so many things we can do to cultivate a life of wonder in our children. These are just a few examples. We could talk about it for days on end, and I wish we had the time to do so face to face.
Our children are born to wonder. One of the most beautiful tasks we have as parents is the gift of learning how to cultivate that wonder in their lives. We get to participate with them in this glorious adventure.